When I Wake Up...

Whilst aimlessly scrolling my favorite internet blackhole "Pinterest" today I came across this stylist infographic



Is it just me or does anyone else feel personally attacked by the italicized "i will" 

It's not enough for me to just crawl out of bed, wipe the crust out of my puffy and make-up schmeared eyes, make my way to the bathroom and then finally crash land on the kitchen table with a cup of mediocre instant coffee...

I am expected to not only workout but stretch too, and then shower?! and put on perfume?!

What monster would put on perfume before drinking coffee... don't you know the chemical fragrances in your ear do toilet can ruin your schnoz making it hard for you to truly appreciate the subpar coffee you are shooting back in an effort to feel alive and human?

And that's just one of the many questions I have

I have more, such as what time do you wake up?

I wake up at 5:30 and I wouldn't even have time for half of this before work

I also love how "get ready for the day" is just a whole-nother thing entirely.

Like, all that other stuff you did was just a warm up. Now it's time for the day to start.

Do yall feel as exhausted as me from reading this?

I imagine the creator @empoweringewomennow was well meaning in the creation of this list but as we all should know by now (thanks to me saying it constantly)

The law never produces what it demands

That "I will" creates a law, and in response to that law I recoil

The demand that I should do these actions gives me grief and makes me want to shake my fist at them in rebellion. The demand is too strong, I am not perfect and I will never be able to live up to this standard an internet stranger has put upon me.

And that's okay.

I have no need to validate myself by having the perfect morning routine.

I don't need a personal fragrance to set the right intention for my day.

And I can certainly do alright without all this nonsense about breakfast and vitamins

Romans 5 says I have been made righteous -  morally in the right and  justified - through Christ not by my own ability

Ephesians 2 says I've been saved by Christ alone, not of my works, this way I cannot boast

So, to this listicle I say - whatever!

I am loved and cherished as I am!

My own list for the perfect morning looks something like this

In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus